18. Juli 2011

• Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

• Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

• Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

• Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML