24. Juli 2011

• Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

• Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it.FML 

• Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML